curbdrop out of grace

telling me i've wasted time

what i wanted to write before i got carried away with johnny's comment is about donnie darko. i was just watching the film (2nd time seeing) and it really, really makes me think, even more unhealthily than usual.

by the way, this won't make nearly as much sense unless you're seen it. so see it.

i'm thinking basically about all the things that hurt or give people discomfort in the world. so much of it is caused by silly actions that occur in a microscopic level, day in day out. but where i'm going with this thought it, they occur just because people are alive. i mean, my existance will affect someone's life (surely multiple persons) in a highly negative way. i will do something to someone that will hurt like cialis induced blue balls. blue ball jokes aside, seriously. i will let someone down. i will intentially hurt someone. i will unintentially hurt someone. yadda yadda. and this applies to not just me. no i am not so egocentrical or frugal that i am not willing to share the wealth...

then again, the flipside too is that i will really make someone happy. i will make someone's day, or make someone's life. that's also an amazing thing to think, to believe, to hope.

and then the question is how does one ensure the good side and not the bad. well in my last post, i basically said, or at least tried to convey, it's not possible to do anything. and this sounds so helpless, like our actions are meaningless... but aren't they? i mean one cares to think about it, our lives are so swayed by people, events, society, circumstances, chance, timing, luck, whatever, everything, and so forth. so how does one actually decide and make a difference with one's own life. you can't really when you really rationalize it down to this level. but then again most people don't think like this or want to or care to. and i envy those who aren't realists or realistic. it's easier to just throw all your hopes into something like religion and just pray and "know" everything's going to be okay.

but i won't get into my speech about all that.

posted by fillshe @ 2:41 AM