curbdrop out of grace

one year gone, where's my bong?

super bowl sucked. i mean, the game was alright i guess, but it's nothing like a game 7 nhl game. i miss hockey more than i miss my foreskin.

circular-incision. does anyone remember that episode of married with children?

billy's cousin sat in today in band practice instead of chris who was busy at his sister's b-day party (she shares the same birthday as billy). jimmy is good. i was in awe.

and none of this is funny. i'm tired AND exhausted.

jane was massaging my head during the game using her socked-feet. i don't mind feet, and i love head massages. they take me to a different plain of existance.

i got home and checked my email. i got one from katie-slut, the cheater. it's been almost a year (about 3 weeks short). she says she found a book of mine and wanted to send it to me, so she needed my address.

i wasn't mad and/or didn't feel any anxiety reading the email. i would have thought i would have. but i feel total nothingness. i know it took me a long ass time to get over that shit. probably like 7-8 months. but it's been almost a year now and i know that i am over that crap. luckily, i did not date anyone for any significant amount of time during that time otherwise they would have been the "rebound" everyone always speaks of. so i never had a rebound. i kind of wish i had, just to say i had.

so i wrote her back. i told her i'm not mad at her anymore. i also told her not to bother with the book. i think i spent like $5 on the book anyway. plus, she still has my fucking game cube. i don't know why she didn't offer to give me that back. that just seems lame and fishy.

but i wrote to her asking if i could get my piece back. it was beautiful. i had forgotten it when i got all my other shit the day i found out. i might have chris pick it up this week, although i have a feeling chris would end up losing it within 24 hours.

i'm not sure how things would be if i saw katie again in person. i'm supposed to email jess, another ex, an email about a lot of unsaid things that should have been said about 2 and a half years ago when we broke up.

hmmm, i have to admit, i am thinking about katie now because of this email. and the more i think (and i always think MORE, unfortunately), the more this aura that i cannot describe except with the word "wierd" surrounds my thoughts.

i'm even thinking, if i were to see her again, if the moment came, would i allow myself to hook up with her? would i? maybe if other circumstances that i'm working on don't pan out. i know, that sounds like i'm lowering myself to a dirt-ass, pathetic level. but don't people think these things? it's not like i did anything yet. but if i did, so what, i've been there done that before anyway. i don't know. i'm going to stop thinking completely and go to bed.

also i'm so sick of watching super bowl post-game analysis. who cares. if i wanted to watch SO many of the replays over and over again, i would get tivo.

posted by fillshe @ 11:25 PM