curbdrop out of grace

my mom is my nitemare of a wifey

couple of things. this afternoon, i went back to my parent's to grab some lunch. my dad was home but mother was out shopping. so i looked through the fridge and found some food, ate it, and more or less left. my mom calls me about 10 minutes after i get home, calling from my dad's cell (remember, my parent's don't have any long distance plan in place and i have an out-of-areacode-number, in order to ensure my mom is limited by how often i call... either only calling from my dad's cell or punching in 60 digits with a damn calling card.)

anyway, she's like, "i just got back home and asked daddy why he didn't tell you to eat the food i specially placed in a bowl for you. i specifically told him to tell you but he didn't. i'm so mad at him."

and then i got so mad and said, "mom, i don't even care. i found my own food. and if there wasn't any food, i would have just made something myself or bought something. if you're mad at dad, then tell him. don't just yell and complain about him to me. i don't care. you're getting upset about nothing."

and i was really mad.

and anyway, my mom is crazy. she likes to complain all the time about my dad to me. and my dad likes to complain about my mom to me. it's like i'm a damn blog and they feel the need to express the issues in their life to me. great. oh by the way, i forgot to mention today was like my parent's engagement anniversary. my mom called me right before my parents went out for anniversary celebratory lunch. she was so mad at my dad for something so shite.

oh i forgot to also say that my mom was telling me about the food they ordered. this one was my fault. i was trying to be polite and humor them so i asked what they ordered. big mistake, asking a girl someone because the doors blew open and my mom began talking for about 10 minutes about nothing exciting. she is talking about the food and with every item mentioned, tells me the price they paid.

wtf mates?!

oh, and my mom JUST told me that i need to sign up for another credit card that's offering up to 5% back at certain stores. i told her, "you tell me to sign up for a new credit card every month. this is like the damn long distance plans where companies kept calling daily trying to one-up their competitors. it doesn't matter about that stupid credit card. i already get money back. the money i'd save isn't worth the trouble."

but it is to her.

last thing/complaint about my mom. so i come into the house for din din and there's a bag sitting on my spot at the table. i look in and there's that fuji'ing underwear my mom had exchanged for to get me sizes 34-36 (ladies, i really wear 32's but i am getting fat and ugly---er). anyway, so my mom says, "well philip, it was your birthday two weeks ago, but we didn't get you anything then. so i'm giving you this underwear to you now."

and i almost want to fly across the room through our sliding glass door.

i don't even bother to complain to her face, just laughing. it's fuji'ing ridiculous. giving me a present i didn't even want, two weeks late, and it's a FUJI'ING 4-pack of haines underwear. thanks for going all out and splurging on the 4-pack. boy am i spoiled.

billy gets an ipod and i get undies. if my brother gets anything more than a billing statement from my parents, i'm going to throw a fit.

and so tonite, i'm going to get gossard and laugh a whole-hearted cry.

posted by fillshe @ 7:12 PM