curbdrop out of grace

white smoke black smoke who gives a fuck

if i were named pope (and so then, if i were pope) , i'd shake up the catholic church/system/machine. here are just a few of the things i would do:

1. communion at church would be heavily revised. rather than eating little pieces of bread dipped in cheap wine, i'd have large flakey bisquits being dipped in glorious sausage gravey. and everyone, including women and children, would each have capri suns to drink. or wine.

oh, also communion would include sitting around in a drum circle while passing around all sorts of drugs, including but not limited to: birth control, cialis, dope, shrooms, nicotine patches, steriods, and glue.

2. believing in god would be optional.

3. any person who would deny the rights of gays and women to participate in the new order of catholocism would be high-fived, and then murdered.

4. rock bands would be urged and welcomed to play sets during mass.

5. bono would be cruicified and then his body would be ripped to pieces and draped in the 4 corners of the world to warn all those who greatly suck, to not.

6. the nhl would never have a lockout again.

7. priest and such who molest children would be pardoned, as long as the children deserved it.

8. mitch hedberg, eddie vedder, ben gibbard, and optimus prime would all be immediated honored with sainthood.

9. billy could come live in the vatican city free of all expenses.

10. catholocism wouldn't suck.

posted by fillshe @ 6:01 PM