this is ridiculous, but during the nite i was thinking about so much and about the direction of my life and how fucked up it is at times the things i'd be willing or unwilling to do. i don't really understand myself completely. i'm a love fool. i'm the most rational person i know about everything and then insert love, and i become a fucking moron, going against the walls of reason/security/safety i've crafted over the years. that's when i get hurt. people in general can't really hurt me as i just don't care about people in general. but there are moments when the right person pricks me in the right spot and i just drop dead for awhile.
Monday, April 18, 2005
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