curbdrop out of grace

between worries

she's so shy
sometimes
when the sun hits the sky
and she'd rather stay inside
hiding behind blinds
laying beside thoughts
that whistle a beatless, spiritless whirl
like wind winding down
and soaring up
she likes
to cry at nite
because the noise
can't be avoided
even if he tried
between muffled
between breaths
when she dreams
she gets
the most rest
most peaceful
when he cares
enough to brush her
accidently
without reacting
so naturally
apologizing
as an enemy
as if he no longer
hungered for
the exchange of skin
there are worse things
than death
the indifference
makes the most difference
but he doesn't care
he doesn't care
anymore
enough to notice
to see her happiness
exchanged for shame
diluted with blame
hours spent
going over
what went wrong
was it ever right
or did she hide
the truth inside
as he offered a life
without the fear
of being here
alone
yet all she feared
is all she feels
and she's too weak
to appeal
the sentence she feels
is just another notch in a belt
full of shit
now she's too tired
to deal with
the what if
things could be better
blame it on wine
blame it on weather
blame it on time
blame it on heaven
because it can't wait
she can't wait
she's so shy
and i wonder
why doesn't she just say something?

posted by fillshe @ 10:09 AM