curbdrop out of grace

how can you look at me like that and then ask?

i made some career moves tonite. and they know i'm good. and i know i'm good. maybe in a year then?

i had a burrito tonite. two mexican dishes in two days. look out cheech.

i think of love like playing poker.

it takes a lot of balls to play the field. and you have to be willing to lose a good stake to win a bigger one. if you're playing 10 people, your odds are probably worse than 10 to 1. if you lose, it hurts. it sucks and you can't get over the loss of however much you put on the table. if you win, you come out the big winner. who's the big winner? mikey.

and it takes time. you can't just beat people left and right so easily so quickly. and if for some reason you do, it's not satisfying. you want to win the big one but earn it through the grind. you want to have won by beating someone with a sweet move that you worked on carving out for a long ass time.

and sometimes, you get setbacks. and sometimes, you're ahead when you're not really, just until the time you get cut down a bit.

and you have to know when to go all in. when to put everything on the line. you also have to know when to call it quits and know when you're beat and just step off and be willing to give up all the chips and time you put in because you cannot win that hand no matter what.

sometimes people bluff you and get you to think they have something when they don't. sometimes you bluff. sometimes you win these minor hands. sometimes you don't. the end result is a psychological boost or drop. it makes you either sure of your next move or question your next hand.

starting off with pocket rockets isn't at all the best. it looks really pretty, but then it turns out, all you needed was a 2 - 7 to pair or make a full.

sometimes you need to play junk cards and they turn out to be a great winning hand.

sometimes you get lucky and flop the winning hand on the river. other times you lose on the last card when you least expect it, against all odds.

this is a convo billy and i just had about cobain:

billy: watching him play makes me want to perform
phil: i can't perform like him though. he's a different style than me
billy: i want people to run on stage and then jump into the crowd. impossible
phil: yeah. i don't even come close to that style. he's much more raw, but controlled. i am just trying to get by
billy: he plays like himself. you have to just play like yourself
phil: that's how i am

get it?

posted by fillshe @ 11:02 PM