curbdrop out of grace

mr. sex, please gently pet mr. canjar.

i browsed through a number of other people's blogs. i kept hitting the damn "next blog" button on the top right. i've uncovered two thoughts:

1. there are a ton of people out there that blog in different languages. that's not so odd, but when faced with the reality of it, it makes one feel small.

2. a ton of people have their blog name reference "ramblings". somehow they think that their thoughts are ramblings when they are not. there is a major difference between ramblings and writing down significant thoughts in an insignificant, broken manner.

i feel collectively, there's a lot of self-conscious, low self-esteemed people on blogger. i guess that shouldn't be much of a suprise. if you're blogging, you're by yourself (most likely). and if you're by yourself enough to write posts on a regular basis, you're probably lonely. and if you're lonely, you probably think whatever it is you have to write down is nothing more than a rambling.

i've been writing a whole lot lately because i've been contained inside in the cold winter. also i've been writing late at nite after events or during work because i'm always at my computer, and it's fitting to just quickly type something when my fingers are already on the trigger, about to explode thoughts onto a blank screen like blood against a white wall, Lester Burnham style.

did you get that reference? also, that might sound like excuses, but believe me i know what chronic depression and utter lonliness feel like and this is NOT it.

posted by fillshe @ 9:49 PM