curbdrop out of grace

you're idle

someone once told me, it's more fun to think about the people you like when you masterbate. so in other words for me, think about the people i will never have sex with.

mom: "make sure when you leave that the door is lock."
phil: "why wouldn't it be locked? wait, you want me to make sure it's locked or unlocked?"
mom: "make sure the door is locked."
phil: "the door is always locked. why would it be unlocked? you don't have to tell me to lock it if it's already locked because i don't plan on unlocking it. are you going to unlock it now?"
mom: "no but daddy might."
phil: "why would dad do that?"
mom: "because he's going out and sometimes he forgets to do things. like today, he forgot to pick me up from work. he's forgetful."
phil: "so he's going to forget to lock the locked door? what are you talking about? is he going to unlock the door accidently and then forget accidently to relock it?"
mom: "no, he's going next door for a minute and maybe he'll leave the door unlocked because he's only going to be gone for like a minute."
[phil pulls hands over eyes in tired disbelief]
phil: "oh, so he's only going to be gone for a minute and to next door. then who cares? also, you didn't say before where he was going or why he would unlock the door."
mom: "well i thought it was very simple and straight forward."

posted by fillshe @ 6:40 PM