drive gracefully
missy: "how are you?"
phil: "not good."
missy: "what's not good?"
phil: "i just got raped."
missy: "oh boo."
phil: "what? rape jokes are always funny."
i was just thinking of you while i was putting lipstick on.
sorry, you fucked with the wrong boyscout.
if you fuck with me, you'd better bring a body bag and a pile of wetnaps because i will shit all over your corpse.
sometimes when i'm brushing my teeth and i'm looking in the mirror, i think about you. i think this is what you would see if you woke up to spend the morning with me.
tomorrow, people will get fired for fucking with the jesus. seriously.
i came so hard your mom's wig fell off.
posted by fillshe @ 12:02 AM
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