everymorning everymourning
with tongue tied words all fumbled,
of how i didn't fall i stumbled,
and that one nite i must of mumbled,
of course i don't love you.
andrea said this which i like a lot, "asking for my opinion on the nite. which is funny. since i'm a nobody. must have been a nobody poll."
i like the phrase "a nobody poll" mucho (see how i just switched from english to spanish?)
i just used one of my jokes (if you have been reading my postings on a regular basis, i made a comment about me being a comedian and reusing my best jokes to people who haven't heard them).
the jokes goes like this, and yes i did make this up originally, sometime back in middle school when i lost faith. it goes a little something like this:
so what if i'm going to hell. hell won't be that bad. all my best friends will be there. it'll be like a party.
and then i was telling the girl further (also i'm modifying this a bit to make it better):
but the party's going to sort of suck because all the food at the bbq is going to be well-well-well-well-done.
also i was saying:
satan is probably a fucking cheap ass. but he needs to be because he's always got a huge gas bill to pay for keeping the furnace way up.
ok, so it sucked.
nice hyperlinking skills fuckfacekilla
hey, so this is a link that bortha msm1 posted. i had to copy it and post on my own.
snowfalls on everyone
a tuneless hum
broken then fixed,
hope-full of bliss,
wishful doubtful,
clenched teeth crushed fists,
back and forth and back,
like the tide on attack,
sucker punching the sand,
and then retreating again,
the moon to blame,
of cowardly shame,
look down eyes closed,
head low breath froze,
as nervous beads run wild,
hanging over a forced smile,
naked is the face of fake,
draped in a chorus break,
lines of made up lies,
echoed from better times,
practiced in mirrors,
and taught by peers,
they smile you reflect,
your filth your secret,
is drawn back down deep,
with all the demons you keep,
with all the animal you hide,
with all the vemon you disguise,
with all the hatred and dirt,
with your collection of hurt,
you never say what you mean,
you never stop the machine,
it's unfair they're unaware,
they're naive while you care,
and because you do,
although you don't want to,
but because you do,
you never do.,
and you tell them,
and they listen,
they only ever listen,
they never hear.
arternative
you said you wish we'd rock,
you said you wish we'd roll,
but the only thing i know,
is the emotion in my soul,
and so,
i write,
i play,
i whine,
and what comes naturally,
melodically,
the depressing me,
the wishful me.
i heart sluts
today marks the 1 year anniversary that i found out katie-slut cheated on me. i remember the moment i found out. but i don't remember that much more of the nite besides volunteering with jane, yount, and kristina at some red wings alumni charity game, and then drinking. massive drinking.
to be honest, i don't remember much at all for the next few months that followed.
so it's been a year. oh the memories.
on the 25th annivesary, i think i'm going to shoot her with a silver bullet. just in case that bitch happens to also be a werewolf.
view from a far off galaxy
driving over to my parent's for a quick dinner, i realized a couple of things. first i'm still bent on my parents letting my brother use AGAIN their frequent flyer miles despite this time, it will cause them double the points. yet when i wanted to use double the points, which i realize IS completely foolish, they turned me down.
and so i thought, you know my parents never gave me anything except life, grief, and an asshole brother, and i didn't ask for any of those.
and i was also thinking, and this stems from a conversation we had upnorth at the Rosa, where we wanted to measure penis size by weight. like,
"whoa that cock is so big."
"how big?"
"oh about 47 oz."
well anyway, i was thinking instead of measuring driving distance by miles or kilometers, people should measure distance by cigarettes a person needs to smoke to make the journey. for instance,
"how far is chicago from troy?"
"oh between 3 and 4 cigarettes."
and the wierd thing is, it's not a flat rate of cigarettes per mile (or cpm). instead, it's disproportional. for instance,
"phil, how far is it from your house to your parents."
"well driving there, it's not far at all, maybe have a smoke. driving back, it's about two cigarettes, depending on how many times my parents made me want to kill myself."
and i want to use this line sometime in a song: "the day will still get darker/you don't have time to sigh."
and that might sound stupid but oh well.
and you know, i go from zero to commited relationship in under 6 seconds. but i'm picky on which races to try.
blues bled on a bed of white
quickly, before dinner.
so yesterday billy had his ipod hooked up to my car and was playing tunes while we drove to and back from this record store that uses these small black bags with aqua teen on the bag, even though the record store isn't at all afilliated with the show.
also i said quickly, and i am trying by the speed rate i type, but my thoughts just never work quickly. i mean they come out quickly, but there's so many pointless details added.
necessary and unnecessary.
anyway so billy puts on this pj song called "smile" , which always reminds me of dief because for some reason that is his favorite and he always feels the need to tell me when pearl jam convo is in the air.
and so we're listening and there's a great line in it. billy told me he does't typically listen to the words of songs. rather he is always listening to the music. i find this very impossible as songs to me are typically great because of the combination of both words and music.
anyway, the line goes like this "i miss you already. i miss you always." and then eddie goes on singing "don't it make you smile... when the sun don't shine it don't shine at all. don't it make you smile."
and i like the song because it's a good song. but again, and pay close attention, the heart throb of this song were those lines i just put to paper. and when i really like certain song quotes like i like those two song quotes, it is typically because i associate them with a person or a memory. and in this case, i know exactly the moment and the girl i associate them to. and it's a great feeling.
because seven eight nine
wintery wonderful 
this picture is of the shrub right outside my house. there's about 2k icicles on the shrub, so i thought it was pretty cool looking. the ice is actually slowly melting, but i'm sure there'll be another 8 inch snowfall next week, just in time to throw my back out shoveling the snow, again.
give me three days and i could rise from my grave too.
next door
apparently the house directly next door was on fire a week and a half ago but i just found out about this incident yesterday nite (thanks carmen). and so from what i hear, there was a fire due to the laundry dryer spontaneously combusting. i think the two highschool girls were home and had to crawl out or jump out the bedroom windows.
for what it's worth (nothing box), i did notice the windows were boarded as early as 5:30pm yesterday, 8 days after the incident, but i can at least claim i saw it and wondered what was going on, prior to carmen telling me the e true holiwood story.
my theory was that the family had just spent $5000 at wallside windows. that was my serious guess.
and i was wrong. i have no idea how big the fire was or if my belongings were in serious danger. oh whatever.
oh and so i decided to take a picture and post this comment, but while i was taking a picture, the neighbor across the street, some old dude with a 2-year subscription to cialis, opened his front door and watched me probably thinking i'm a sickie for wanting to capture the moment of our fellow neighbors unfortune. so i took the picture anyway.
curbdrop, spelled curb drop. this is a little test for the search engine spiders.
i think if i had to compile a top 10 list of favorite things to do, i wouldn't be able to list 2 of them.
Fillshe's Top 10 List of Farvorite Activities (in no particular order, or are they?!):
10. binge eating with my guy friends (whitecastle, halo burger, the "rosa", etc.)
9. watching professional hockey games (tv or live)
8. watching a great movie/tv show with great conversations (you wouldn't know)
7. poisoning my body with chemicals until i forget what my point is or what i'm
please, always remember...
and so i was thinking how, espeically on the phone or when talking to someone at work, someone will ask the other, "how are you doing (today)?" and 99 times out of 100, the answer is "good." now sometimes, the answer is slightly modified with "good, but tired."
i got news for you hunny (candian spelling), everyone's tired. that's why our bodies end up making us do this thing called "sleep" at nite. and when you're awake, your body really is tired too. however due to evolution, you body has learned how to trick your mind into thinking you're awake and full of energy so that you can actually stop vegging, get up and hunt and/or gather, and also take a club to a woman's skull and procreate the hell out of her.
this is all assuming you're not a fucking robot, like peter griffin's evil twin.
and ANYWAY, if you say you're good, you're probably lying too but you probably don't give enough fuck to actually stop for a moment and discuss the real reason why the current moment in your life is failing as god intended. most people are too tired to actually say how they're feeling. they'd rather just lie.
and seriously, most people asking you "how you are" are full of smoke anyway. they don't really care. if they cared, they'd be fondling your genitals while they asked because if they really cared, they would of course want you to always answer truthfully "great, but less pressure please i have a blind date later." no but think about it, handjobs galore.
and i don't really know what the hell i'm talking about anymore.
but next time you run into someone, probably the next non-family member that you run into, answer truthfully. tell them, "i'm ok, but i'd rather be dead" or "i'm terrible because the tip of my finger got chopped off in the doorway of the backroom of an Ace hardware store and now i'll never be a handjob model."
sorry boxy poo, had to bring it up.
she make everything all right.
bunch of wierd drunks
oh so i've added this picture as a reference point as mentioned in the previous post. i am obviously the one who looks like he's about to fall down in the picture. paul is the guy with his mouth open, like a ____. billy is making kissy faces and is strategically set in ass-pound position (lucky me!). keith's got his game face on, for when he's versing a corn-shit-harvest.
oriental chex mix
this person is what i'm talking about. i do wonder how she made that wizard pop up and such. maybe i'll ask her sometime. it'll say "u r sO cooL daT eyE WaNT u tO mENtOr mE."
SnwAngel54: you are posting our conversation!!!!!!!!!!
Burt Reynolds 19: i did. so you are such my bitch hahahaha
Burt Reynolds 19: i posted it about 20 seconds ago
SnwAngel54: ahaha no on likes seth green?
SnwAngel54: sorry billy ill think of someone else with red hair
also, have you noticed people don't tend to use punctuation in messenger because instead of periods and such or commas, people just press the enter button.
white people what up!
alcohol until the day i die,
alcohol until my insides cry,
alcohol to help comprise,
my standard for love.
convo1
SnwAngel54: oh oh oh why do you keep saying oh
SnwAngel54: are you singing or something
Burt Reynolds 19: i'm looking in the mirror
Burt Reynolds 19: and practicing my oh face
convo2
SnwAngel54: is this one of your friends that comments on your blog?SnwAngel54: that plays xbox
Burt Reynolds 19: yeah
Burt Reynolds 19: billy
SnwAngel54: the guy you play music with that looks like seth green
Reynolds 19: hahaahahahhaha
Burt Reynolds 19: yes that's him
SnwAngel54: yeah he really does look like him
SnwAngel54: but i thinkt hat seth green is cute
b i 1 1 1 y : great
b i 1 1 1 y: no one likes seth green
so i've gotten lazy just cutting and pasting material from before.
alphabet numbers
fireworks
i'm about to take a cosmic shit.
i should be in bed recovering rather than posting crap pictures
jessica riggs, you have "it"
my only concern is if the cat will be giving the camel a reach around during the ride. come on cat, be a sport.
you're already wrong.
stupid.
i hate that, being with me. hanging out with myself is so boring and gay. and i never pick up a tab or volunteer to dd.
rhetroical question for dummies.
morons to the left of me. christians to the right.
if you have to stop and ask yourself if you're stupid, then you're probably fucking stupid. or lack self-confidence on your intelligence.
if you're going to act like a baby, then i'm going to fuck you like a baby.
so i'm hurting pretty badly right now. and being in the sunlight really makes one realize just how hungover one is. i think that's why people invented sleep. to cure hangovers.
thanks to all who made it out last nite. special thanks to people who bought me drinks. and props to myself for not puking my loines out.
updates on my sweet family:
my mom just always talks on and on about nothing at all, not even noticing that i don't care or pay any sort of attention. usually people listening or pretending to listen will say stuff like "uh huh" or "yeah" or nod their head, or even make eye contact. instead. my mom just talks on and on and i don't do any of it. in fact, not only am i not paying any attention to whatever she just said (i wouldn't know as i didn't pay attention), but i'm thinking while she's talking about how i'm not paying attention. it's out of control.
and she asked me if my friends took me out to dinner last nite. keep in mind i have just stopped by to eat lunch at it's 1:30pm on a saturday, and i look, as box called it, "like a corpse" and smell like stale bar. and she wanted to know what i ate for dinner and if my friends paid for it. she has no idea anything i do ever.
and it's a good thing my parents never pop by my house because they would be in for a harse awakening. open up your eyes. open up your minds.
and my dad wanted to talk to me as i was walking out the door, saying, "philip i haven't had a chance to talk to you yet."
well yeah, that's because you've just been sitting there watching tv like you always do. and like always, whenever i'm about to leave, that's when you make the effort to acknowledge my existance. fuck that with doors closing behind me and middle fingers up in the air.
and my brother is still a shitbrick little brat.
uptight downright dirty dirty man
crave the wave
all i need are so tasty waves dude and some munchies.
and after they removed his testicles, he became the most uninteresting person ever. and often, he would sit there taking pictures of marbles and other round hard objects, longing for the good old days, with testes a-plenty.
