curbdrop out of grace: February 2006

this is an important article about biking

i'm hungry for live music

so this is great. i took a shower after bike run #2 and stepped into the dark hallway to feel shit on my freshly cleaned off foot. and it was cat barf.

now i'm a fan of cat barf like any decent american, but i was not in the mood.

i will bury that bastard cat in a dumpster soon enough.

see worthy dirty dames

prasad is ridiculous. so is dief.

so for those who did not hear yet, i am starting a bike club seeing how i now own a bike and it's so fun to ride around the city/lake coast. i've already invited billy and chris to be co-founders so that's that. it will be called:

"the phil shih memorial bike club"

here are some prelim rules although i have not really asked for billy or chris' input and this is definitely not finalized:

1. must own a working bike
2. biking + drinking = bike club
3. smoking is encouraged
4. helmets like condoms are optional, but if you do wear one, you will be made fun of
5. lifetime membership includes free unlimited handjobs (for the co-founders to recieve)
6. lifetime membership can be revoked at any time for any reason or non-reason by any of co-founders

and i say
it's okay
as i wake
but the ache
will break
my heart
cause i start
to think of you
i wish that i
could have tried
so much harder
to make
what will break
just bend
i will win
when i walk
into walls
in my halls
and i call
your name
and the same
and the shame
as you came and went
i will not give
to the same
when i know
you by name

it's my birthday, i can pray whatever i want

v. mary: "what's wrong?"
joseph h. christ: "oh sorry, my fist fell asleep in your vagina."

[insert joke about mangina's]

don't blame me i'm just God

i could care less that the russian was crying because she failed to win gold. blah blah sob. so what pick up the pieces and pose for playboy europe like all has-been athletes do. i'm sure they can air brush your broad shoulders off so you look more like hippo and less like the hunchback of notre fuck.

billy left me a ridiculous voicemail today at work. i saved it if anyone ever wants to hear it.

he told me he misses hearing me talk and likes reading my thoughts, because i'm so angry. i'm not angry. would an angry person do this?
IOHADFNKLDAFLKDNALKKLASKLSDKLFDALSHFADSIANLDKNKLDSA

cori and i were talking at work on weds about the first computer, represented by my big ass calculator that i took from work in detroit. i showed her "boobless".

i told this girl a joke that for my birthday, i wanted her to get me a gun. and then she was all pissed off saying it wasn't funny. i said, i know, i'm serious. i want a fucking gun so i can kill people who don't like jokes about guns. well i didn't say that but i thought that. and then i raped her at gunpoint. (see how i threw in both a gun and rape joke together?)

can't go wrong with that combo, it's like incest and sodomy.

wish i were playing video game's at paul's house, proper. but maybe next year.

we started this tradition at work three weeks ago called "40's at 4" on fridays. you do the math. it's great. king cobra can sleep over in my stairwell any nite.

i am going to buy a bike on saturday for my birthday and because i was reminded this past summer riding bikes with billy, paul, and double c that bike riding is the greatest. we were riding at the dream cruise. and doing other shite, in a boyhood dream.

that's it, i'm officially older.

cm

wilco on the radio,
i am gonna break your heart,
love is measured in cigarettes,
in silhouettes,
the dark.

i see you in her lips,
i see you in her hips,
you're the one i'm with,
when she lays down for sleep.

birthday wishes,
kisses near misses,
when we collide,
too old to decide,
too young to care,
too drunk to be aware,
that these stares,
are supposed to seduce.

when i think,
i dream,
when i drink,
to seem,
like the scene is acceptable,
forgettable,
i blur the edges of faces,
until they look more like yours.

you are not missy,
you are what's missing,
not make belief or relief,
but grace.

and so tomorrow,
when i wake,
i will hope an end to being friends,
and start over,
set on fire.

this was from christ

why google is worthless

i work in search for a living. great i know.

but google is worthless. why? because i actually needed some answers to a valid question:

"can i use an expired drivers license to get into the bar"

the result obtained was less than desirable (sp?)

so FUCK gooooooooooooooooooogle.

but either way, i still have my passport which i just checked and that doesn't expire until '08.

so i can still get into the place

[doublespaced out]

so FUCK THE LAW i have a workaround (not to be confused to reacharound*)

*what kissy does for box on his birthday

absolutely look

apparently i wrote this:

everybody's sound

teenage riot. that's what i feel like sometimes.

i just made a new mix for myself that i think is sweetness. a bunch of songs i wanted to put for awhile along with a few new ones from past few weeks.

i hate people who don't tip when you go out in a big group. like they throw in just enough money to cover their food and tip but not anything more. then dollars added and short a few giving shitty tip. and someone always says "let's all throw in an extra buck" but the truth is, some fuck didn't put in any. bunch of savages.

this friday going to duffy's. if you're around, go. i will be the one drunk off my ass holding her wishing she were you.

insert guitar solo thrashing

man i hate trying to count out vacation days
i think i need to take 3.16.06 off
i want to go to the derby too
yount's sis's wedding is following weekend too
and did i get invited to patton's wedding? that's in april
vegas in summer when double c is finally 21
i don't get the days between x-mas and new years off by default. might need to save 3 days there
group north
guys trip
maybe not group north
ireland??????? probably not. sorry gayer.
other random dates?
i didn't even get to use all my days this past year, yet worried about using them all for this year, already. more worried will run out.
this is stupid but the blogger lets you set up bullet points but not indent for subpoints. this is lame-oh.

who wants to go to kansas with me?

god

luv

RRRRRRRRRRRRR

something's funny. my hair is awesome DUDE

2nd cousins

buckingham bitches

v-day party with kate

lactose intollerant

sweetie pie

all the scars in the sky

the new and belle is interesting like the last. not my favorite album at all but it's got moments of beauty. and isn't that what life is?

i realize how ridiculous things are at times and it's refreshing to laugh at the stupidness of natural thought and tendencies.

i started watching tv weeks ago again. when i say that, i mean tv dramas. and it's difficult because these are shows that have been going on for seasons. also they require devotion, and i don't have tivo. but they are fillers. i feel like most people use tv and love it and need it and they don't even realize why. they need it to fill the empty pages in their life. other people do shit like fuck or exercise.

i have president's day off tomorrow. but i need to go to the bank and get a new license (illinois baby, i guess... and have to take the written exam) and both those things are closed. beyond that, getting a new housemate too. but i have no other plans but to feed myself. at least it's to be nicer out. this fucking cold is for the birds, well actually not i guess as them bastards fly south.

nic said they are coming in the day before st patty's. should be a ridiculous time. i am sure i will vomit all over the streets of chicago.

both u.s. and canada lost today in hockey. it was awesome to watch them play. i guess i don't care so much that they lost because i know players on all the teams anyway. but it's strange. times they are a-changin'.

jenga

i've come to talk to you again

i want to make a concept album about ____

you either get sigur ros or you don't. they made it easier to differentiate the sides by making up their own language to compliment their own soundscape. you don't have to be a stoner to feel them.

i tried to write a new guitar song today. and then i decided just to fuck around. it was more fun. the olympics have this new sport of motor-x boarding or whatever the hell it's called. it's pretty fucking sweet. and americans won gold bitches.

people ask what do i do. go to google.com. look up "olympics". see the chevy ad. that's what i do. don't click on it or i'll kill you though cause it costs me money. i overheard someone at work, a rep from cbs, talk about how awesome the gm search program is. she was some hot skirt talking to an ooh person. o.o.h. = out of home. so i don't know why she was talking to him about interactive. but i couldn't help overhear this conversation because it was in the cube next to mine, which has an open window. it's kind of hard to explain but i don't care to because i don't. anyway, it was interesting. because fuck man that's me.

tomorrow we drink

i guess it's wake time

i'm bored. i worked late then got chinese takeout with kate. watched lost (damn it i'm starting to like tv again) and olympic men's mogals. that shite is badass.

and i'm back home now bored and waiting for an "acceptable" time to fall asleep only to wake with disappointment. is it time for work again? you're damn right it is. and the snooze-9-minutes-snooze-9-minutes-snooze-9-minutes-and-wake-routine is getting tiresome.

cammie has this sweet link on her site which leads to interesting art. i put up this particular one on my myspace to see if any fucking wierdos out there appreciate this sort of taste.

i was looking at people's profiles on myspace. meaning from a single guy's perspective, other single women. i just like to shop. this kind of shopping at least. i found one winner who had this list of artists under music:

"I like a little bit of everything, from country to rap. Tim McGraw, Metallica, Black Eyed Peas, Rascal Flatts, Bentley, 3 doors down, 50 Cent, Tribe Called Quest, Aerosmith, Alice in Chains, Big & Rich, Bon Jovi, Brooks and Dunn, Counting Crows, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Def Leopard, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, U2, Faith Hill, Eagles, Gavin DeGraw, Howie Day, Jack Johnson, Goo Goo Dolls, Train, Gwen Stefani, INXS, Jet, The Killers, Keith Urban, Madonna, Maroon 5, Nelly, Nickelback, NIN, Pearl Jam, Staind, Usher, Van Halen, Weezer, and many many more... "

how does one go from 50 cent to CCR to keith urban. i'm ashamed she likes pearl jam. but i guess at least she didn't say "tee hee lol i like everything but country ROFL"

i'm stuck on okkervil river and their album "don't fall in love with everyone you see" (DDL). but if you don't like this sort of bright eyes type folk alt rock, you don't like okk riv.

i guess it's bed time.

where i fall

tap dancing snow flickering off window paines moving the background forward. i look out and see my reflection cast, an image like a ghost or a figure faded in old photographs. heat cries and roars out of dusty vents best kept out of my mind. should i crawl into bed or delay darkness. the synthetic light seems stale in comparison to fresh sun but these days that kind of joy is a rare treat. a lost companion for past glory days. inside locked halls that seem like miles above the world i work through intense indifference of outcomes for what might be my last. lots of petty things fill the void of boredom in my mind. focus. i must focus. change my vantage point so that the tv can suck in my attention if only to not remember. tomorrow comes but not soon enough. just another baby step to a long weekend.

50 gay things about me

50 Things about Me
1. Have you watched the Scripps Spelling Bee: Yes
2. Story behind your first name: my dad wanted to name me scott, after "scotch tape". seriously. but my mom decided she liked philip more.
3. When's your birthday and what did you do on it last year: feb 24, or as billy would put it, feb 16. and i got shit faced in royal oak. i think appledorn was even there.
4. Where do you live: shit town chicago
5. Wallet: i use a money clip and it's in the form of a bent fork.
7. Toothbrush: need to get a new one this weekend.
9. Cell Phone: please biatch, i only use pagers.
10. Pillow cover right now: tiny houses
11. Car : redline
12. Bedroom: my home
13. Sunglasses: cheap $3 women's
14. Last thing you ate: chinese take out.
15. Cologne/Perfume: not saying
16. CD in stereo right now: simon and garfunkel, boxed set disc 3
17. Piercing: one through my head, i wish
18. What you are wearing now: hockey town t
19. Last movie you watched: PCU because my boss made me borrow and watch
20. Wanting: paul's house.
21. What are you doing After this?: putting leftovers in the fridge so i don't have to eat rotten food for lunch tomorrow
22. If you could get away with it and murder: katie slut
23. Person you wish you could see right now: katie slut, so i could murder her ass
24. Something you're looking forward to in the coming week: long weekend. we get pres day off yo
25. Do you smoke? What brand? everything. whatever i can get
26. Favorite kind of cookie: puss
27. Something you are deathly afraid of: settling, which is what i've becom
28. Do you like candles: they are fine if you're a woman or mayer
29. Do you like incense: yes, covers up the smell of drugs
30. Do you like the taste of blood: i don't go down 3rd week of month
31. Do you believe in love: yes. crave case
32. Do you believe in love at first sight: love at first hindsight
34. If you could own any car: not a chevy
35. Something crazy you've done: moved to chicago
36. Something crazy you want to do: get married
37. Last book you read: i cannot even remember. maybe cat's cradle
38. Favorite time of day: weekend. all other days bleed into time
39. Can you eat with chopsticks: i prefer a fork though
40. Favorite Led Zep song: over the hills, although lately, the girl i love's got long black wavy hair
41. Whats your favorite smell: paul's house getting gossard
42. Favorite dessert: pot pie
43. What's something you wish you could understand better? time travel, and scales on the guitar
44. Something unbelievable: she didn't even get that text
45. Who texted u last: kate
46. Song in your head: okkervil river: red
47. Are you shy around your crush: no, but i wonder if she is shy around me
48. Do you know what it feels like to be in love?: yes, feels like a pulsing cock
49. Do you sometimes wish you didn't?: only when it's not my cock, but seriously i'm not a gaywad
50. Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friend? my guitar for duck... hmm

though i'll never forget her
i hope she will agree
but i know she won't be
another savior in silence
the dullness violet and green
an image i dream
hairs stand saluting in time
anticipating i find
for my turn in line
but i know it's not there

i have no pity for zombie still borns.

so it's v-day.

my friend who will rename nameless (l-poo) has an old college friend that has secretly been in love with her for years. years. and everyone knew. and it was awkward because he made it such. because he's a freak, like me.

and then finally he admitted followed by drama up the creek to your mother's hoo-ha.

and he still loves her. but she's got a boyfriend, now of like 3 years. wtf. and he can't get over her. and she feels guilty, yet encourages him all the time by putting herself in situations to set up for him to "see" shit signs that there is hope around the corner. bang. wrong, just a gun held in your hand.

and so she's complaining to me about this now, as i type this. and i laugh because today is v-day and they exchanged cards. i was like, "what is wrong with you you fucking idiot, you just shot yourself in the ass hole. now he thinks you like him again."

she told me that v-day is their sort of holiday, because even when they weren't speaking (because he loved her and she loved another, which is still technically the case now) they still would at least send each other v-day cards. oh how fucking romantic.

see how i used a line from last rant in this, referencing?

it reminds me of that episode of simpsons where ralph gets a pity valentine from lisa. i-cho-cho-choose-you to be mine. fag. and then he thinks she loves him but in reality, she's a 3rd grader who loves playing solo hide and seek with a black crayon.

or magic marker or cockface.

alcoholic tuesday

all my friends and their blue jeans,
our cigarettes and our routines,
staying up just to drink,
passing out so we don't think.

we're all fucked up,
we don't care,
we don't care,
we're all fucked up,
we don't care,
we don't care.

sunday comes but no sun rise,
no one comes to make us rise,
lie around like this was spite,
next weekend seems out of sight.

we're all fucked up,
we don't care,
we don't care,
we're all fucked up,
we don't care,
we don't care.

weightless bliss in the air we breathe,
wait lists weakened at the knees,
safe and sad like willow trees,
we are not a dying breed.

we're all fucked up,
we don't care,
we don't care,
we're all fucked up,
we don't care,
we don't care.

cars and bars and under stars,
who we are is never far.

i have one particular bad side

jay leno is not funny.

that is what i'm talking about. if you have a vagina and you like jay leno i probably don't like you. but if you have a vagina and you like space ghost then i probably think you are alright.

billy i'm hoping that websense has stopped the madness and unbanned my sight from your pleasure, at work. and i hope you get laid post white castle romantic dinner with tres tomorrow because that's badass. which brings me to point two:

you may not like white castle but if you can stand it, you can date me and suck on my toes. and if you love it, then great, maybe i can take you out to dinner sometime and you can pay. we can split a sack. how romantic is that?

and then that reminds me of this song by the magnetic fields which is actually perfect for valentine's day. the song is called "how fucking romantic".

all the stars are bright. dreamy dreamy dreamy.

i'm pretty tired but whatever. i put all these new songs onto my ipod. at first my ipod said that i had to do some system upgrade and so my fucking itunes wasn't recognizing my ipod's existance. then i smashed some buttons with my fatty fingers and fucked shit up until the itunes was like, "yes i admit u2 deserves zero recent grammy's and i can't believe i sold out to their shite ploy and hired them to rep my ass. i hate myself and want to slide."

and then i put on this album by wolf parade which is quite awesome. and i'm excited to explore it further. then i put on this song by american analog set and i'm also real exicited to listen to that. and i put on the new belle and sebastian which i sampled the first 5 songs of and it is NOT that great but i hope it's bearable because i'm supposed to see them real soon in march.

i need to pee, but too bad there are no graves near by.

i was pretty freakin bored today and a number of women told me to do two things to remedy the situation:
1. watch the bachelor
2. watch olympic skating

I'M NOT A GIRL AND I'M NOT A GAYWAD SO I DON'T WATCH EITHER. and i'm not sitting here next to a girl i'm trying to fish fuck so no, i'm not going to watch either. i'd rather be sitting here and stay a stale consistent bored.

i did accidently flip through the channels to see if anything badass was on the olympics (aka ice hockey). which by the way, even women's ice hockey is pretty sweet to watch compared to all non-ice hockey sports. and so i saw skating for a moment and this black dude was pairs raping, i mean skating with this blonde skirt. and the commentators were ripping on him because he's a will smith like sissyman. no just kidding. but they were criticizing him because he kept tossing this girl up like she was a dead baby. and criticized that he was throwing her too high and her boobs weren't flopping to and fro quite enough.

this is my new just made-up line billy, which i think you might like:
there's no "i" in teamwork but there is an "u" in suicide so why don't you go fucking kill yourself.

fuck you websense, break on through to the other side.

oh, and curling isn't hockey or drugs.

there are crowded faces on the train
and they're looking through the paines
as blurred colors fly they ask themselves why
am i letting my life pass me by

there are frowning faces and they say
this is just another day
if i can make it through another day or two
a lazy weekend will greet me soon

there is convicted sadness in the way
all their bodies gently hang
the sadness hums a tune familiar to me and you
cause we've no alternative to do

all the people growing tired and the fate
in concrete walls missing sun and day
the busy bodies move to gain what we will lose
we'll be meeting the made up before too soon

and now worry about your face

i realize that i am a wierdo. i told that amanda girl last nite at a party that i heard she told people i was a wierdo that one time we met, which i was super fucked. and she didn't know what to say.

what could she possibly say and what could she possibly do? i mean she is just not in my league of thought. she was fucking right though in thinking that i am a wierdo. because i don't belong this modern love.

some girl that is on my myspace, this girl from back home in detroit whom i worked with just got engaged. and she posts a bulletin on myspace announcing that she is now engaged. it is rather ridiculous the world we live in. why would you announce this on myspace? why would i want to hear from some written text posted to me and other friends and other online friends and online randoms that you're engaged now. tell it to my face.

but then again i wouldn't have heard of it at all had she not posted it there. but the point on that is i don't fucking care of her or for her. sure i'm happy if she's happy. actually i take that back. i don't give two flying fucks.

i realize today how silly and crazy women are. billy, i already knew this. but this was re-confirmed today and it's fabulous.

i have life problems Burt Reynolds 19 (3:05:35 AM): girls are just a factor in the equation. my life is interesting. it's a lot of fuck ups aggregated. to make - now. i see myself fucking up as i do it and i still do it. and then it comes, and i act suprised by the hurt. but the worse is that i let and knew it would happen. a lot of people are in similar boats, but i cannot stand the shite i spray at myself. when shit hits the fan it's originating from me

you cannot have me
just when you want me
i am a man who stands
for more than a boredom fuck

still lost her

you are my favorite season
another reason to last
forgive all that's past
love is my favorite answer
just like a cancer
skip like a dancer

into this fog
into this fog

you are nothing like winter
a heart that is splintered
a broken down whisper
you are nothing like fiction
a common addiction
i know i'm still wishin

i know you aren't
i know ou aren't
into this fog

i still wish you were not
i still wish you were
i still haven't figured equations to take back sensations
i cannot understand and i will not reprimand
i will not fold like a faith

fall into fate and i'll wait until it's alright
i'll wait until you say goodnite
i'll wait
forever if that makes you feel alright
you should make you feel alright
and the sake of the face is not a bliss i with drawl for sake but for nothing less
blessed heart and i will break you into a million stolen pieces
a million stolen pieces
you are so much more
than you underestimate
and i love you for that
more than i should

eyes glued shut

are you kidding me.

dou you understadnd the sacrifice i made tonite, fo r this injustice.

so you think it's fine and the moment is all and you say and you do and you act like the fall for the moment is the moment but you don't get that this is permanent like memory.

like memory.

i am so sad right now that we are not together i would show you right now just how much i miss you.

i have 4 parties to attend tonite

1-800 flowers can suck me off. so i ordered from these fuckers once long ago, actually to send missy flowers just because i think/thought she was fantastic. and ever since then i get at least weekly emails. now these fuckers because of valentine's day are sending me daily email reminders that there's still time to send my valentine (i don't love anyone) flowers through their overpriced system. fuck you and leave me alone.

and i blame hotmail as well for not recognizing that this should be spam mail damn it.

i turned on the tv just now hoping the olympic games would be on nbc and instead there's some multi-cultural cartoon shit teaching kids what "karma" is. where is the bobsledding? where is the ski jumping. FUCK NBC.

fear is my favorite answer
much like a dancer you sway
to my dismay
love is my favorite cancer

the past is my best kept secret
hidden in perscriptions you've heard
not your concern
we know but we never speak it

every other

two years apart but only a foot,
far from your arms that will not stay put,
you laugh and you drink as you analyze me,
then i placed the weight of a teenager's screams,
soak up the stain with the sleave of your shirt,
material things and the memories they're worth,
chip in your nails so the scratch will run deep,
think of the times when i can't fall sleep.

golden fallen wings
swollen stolen dreams

two for the job and three for the fact,
four for my fault don't know how to act,
sink in my seat as mind starts to math,
secret behind every time that i laugh,
time out my breath as your bird sets sale,
wait for birthdays to exchange some mail,
wonder but know you don't think about me,
except in the times when you can't fall asleep.

golden fallen wings
swollen stolen dreams

i thought you were going to mayer's anyway?

i haven't listened to this beulah album in such a long time, but i am now and that's the point. the best line is "hoping for a little more than just another kiss goodnite."

i just turned on the grammy's and greenday won best record. what the blood clot? i immediately turned it off because bullshit remains on a farm.

on a plateau where we stand
designed secrets
the silence and intent
of course
on a sidewalk slipping hands
a long weekend
the backward path back home
of course
be careful where you land
you might fall off
as satellites collide
on course
the front and profile grand
it's no secret
hoping for a kiss goodnite
of course

i sold my scales on ebay

i bet if you accumulated all the urine drops shaken off the tips of mankind you would match the ocean.

that's strange but mathmatically possible, depending on the strength of the yen.

there's patterns of houses on my pillow case but none of the houses melt in the mentality of home although my head sinks into in slumber.

i want a new pet dinosaur. my last one went extinct.

i hope your lies fall apart and your myth and mystery send the rushers back with tails in hand.

there is aggression in grace
there is compromise in your face
the space between the void it seems
is replaced by strangers

as the hour grows weight

no one cares about my online whining anymore. i don't get it. i thought i had built a consistent dedicated fan base of flamers. i guess that is not the case.

maybe i need to spice this up a little? what could i do?

naked pictures of gorman's girlfriend kissy?

"allegations" of kobe brant raping some white skank broad?

online disco orgies?

oh i'm tired who cares.

great job for hockey !

said next week in the garden

michelle: do you think she really plays guitar
michelle: or is she trying to sound cool
phil: would you ever lie about that to sound cool?
phil: anyone who cares about it and would be excited that a girl played guitar would surely test the girl at some point in the near future
michelle: i wouldn't, but i know plenty of people who pretend to play guitar so they can sound cool
michelle: yeah
phil: i asked her to play to test her
phil: i thought the same thing, does she really play?
phil: and she wouldn't/didn't
michelle: hahahah
michelle: she totally doesn't
michelle: that's funny
michelle: i think i have this girl completely figured out
michelle: with this small amount of knowledge
phil: she gave the normal excuse, "well i haven't played in a long time so i'm not really good anymore and so i'm not going to play because i'm a liar deep down."
michelle: next she'll say that she doesn't want to play in front of you because you're too good and she doesn't want to look dumb
phil: dumb with her dmb
phil: she should stop looking dumb by stop talking and killing herself
michelle: that would be a start anyway

Your Porn Star Name Is...

Magic Johnson

What's Your Porn Star Name?

you serious clark?

Your Porn Star Name Is...

Magic Johnson

What's Your Porn Star Name?

dr. tickles

when things go wrong each day the trouble of time floods a million voices and images half blurred in time and half hurried from disasterous pain. utterly, unspeakable, predictable human flesh filled nerves pin needles and screaming lights blazing your trouble young mind.

your one chance, my gift to you, i retract. you cannot have me back for you cannot make things whole again. things will never be the same. sin and sun have bled into one.

i woke up in barcelona

i keep tonguing the wound, the crack in my smile. as if there will be something different there this time. maybe a different outcome. a suprise? no suprise. but the possibility of result is the reason behind the action.

potential = action = reaction = assessment = hope = potential

take the time to smell the roses and when miss winter comes, you will have your memory to hold you company when no natural flower blooms for months counted with huddled cigarette butts at the sidewalk cracks outside of your front door.

when you smile with concrete headgames
when you run your mouth around the block
when you leave the indecision up to maybe
my mistake
my mistake
you are fucking with my life
waking up with mood swing blues

fingers touch my bread

this is a bit difficult to read but well worth.

sound proof broom

things that happened yesterday:

1. box driving around chicago for 45 minutes looking for a parking space only to end up parking in the paid lot across from mayer's. zero gas in tank left.

2. getting all this free beer at duffy's. mayer is convinced the waitress sucked because she was so slow but she actually gave each of us three free pints.

3. smoking shit ass cigars. "sport" style. gorman smoked 2.

4. boxed wine at laura's

5. going to some shitty ass country western bar where there were no other people. mayer requesting free bird and it still sucking. drinking whiskey until we wanted to vomit. i bought two cigs from the guy working the men's room.

6. rock n roll mcdonald. i ordered 6 burgers and fanta, no ice. mayer tried to order a whooper and then some peppey's. mayer under my guidance wipes his face and hands on a potted plant. then for some reason, eats part of the plant.

7. i took a huge shit at mayer's the next morning. 3 matches.

fuck fuck fuck adult fucking content

some people don't believe that asian guys can have wavey hair. and then they meet me and are like "oh, i was once lost but now i am found, was blind but now i see."

and then who cares?

tomorrow our team is going out for drinks with a rep. i like the rep and i like the team but i'm not really excited to go. not that i have much better to do and drinking for the sake of the job is not anything i've ever shy'd from. but i'm just still tired and recovering and have a long weekend ahead of me.

your father called and said he wants his genes back.

i feel something funny in my left frontal lobe. feels like tension right about the left eye. that's probably "normal" right?

curbdrop out of grace

Monday, February 27, 2006

Sunday, February 26, 2006

i'm hungry for live music

see worthy dirty dames

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Friday, February 24, 2006

it's my birthday, i can pray whatever i want

don't blame me i'm just God

cm

Thursday, February 23, 2006

why google is worthless

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

absolutely look

everybody's sound

Monday, February 20, 2006

insert guitar solo thrashing

Sunday, February 19, 2006

all the scars in the sky

Friday, February 17, 2006

i've come to talk to you again

Thursday, February 16, 2006

i guess it's wake time

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

where i fall

50 gay things about me

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

i have no pity for zombie still borns.

alcoholic tuesday

i have one particular bad side

Monday, February 13, 2006

Sunday, February 12, 2006

and now worry about your face

still lost her

eyes glued shut

Saturday, February 11, 2006

i have 4 parties to attend tonite

Friday, February 10, 2006

Thursday, February 09, 2006

every other

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

i thought you were going to mayer's anyway?

i sold my scales on ebay

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

as the hour grows weight

said next week in the garden

you serious clark?

Monday, February 06, 2006

dr. tickles

i woke up in barcelona

Sunday, February 05, 2006

fingers touch my bread

Saturday, February 04, 2006

sound proof broom

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

fuck fuck fuck adult fucking content

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